Gratitude vs. Guilt: The Hidden Emotion Blocking Your Healing

We’re rolling into the holiday’s, and everywhere you look you’re hearing the word gratitude. But if we’re being honest? A lot of women are walking around with something very different humming underneath the surface:

👉 “I should be doing better.”
👉 “I messed up… again.”
👉 “I know what to do, but I’m not doing it.”
👉 “Everyone else is farther along than I am.”

That isn’t gratitude.
That’s guilt. And it’s quietly running the show.

This week on Awaken Wellness TV, I went deep into this exact topic: how gratitude vs. guilt impacts your nervous system, your hormones, your inflammation, and your ability to actually heal.

🔁 Replay the full episode here:
👉 Watch the “Gratitude vs Guilt” episode on Awaken Wellness TV.

Your Words Are Not Harmless

Most women I work with at Awaken Wellness don’t realize how brutal their self-talk is.

They would never say to a friend what they say to themselves in their own head:

“I’m so behind.”
“I’ll never catch up.”
“I always mess this up.”
“I can’t stick with anything.”
“What’s the point? I already blew it.”

We’ve normalized this constant internal beating.
But your body doesn’t hear “sentences” — it hears frequency.

Your body speaks:

Chemistry
Electricity
Current

Every time you speak, think, or dwell on guilt-soaked thoughts, your body hears one thing:

“I am not safe.”

And a body that doesn’t feel safe is not going to prioritize healing.

Guilt vs. Gratitude: Two Frequencies, Two Outcomes

Let’s boil it down.

When you live in guilt, your brain and body hear:

Danger
Threat
“We’re failing”
“We’re not enough”

Your nervous system responds by staying in:

Fight
Flight
Freeze

In those states:

Sleep suffers
Cravings spike
Hormones go sideways
Blood sugar becomes unstable
Inflammation rises
Weight clings, even when you’re “doing everything right”

You can be on the best supplements in the world, eating cleaner than ever, and still feel stuck if your nervous system is locked in survival mode.

When you live in gratitude, your body hears:

Safety
Support
Compassion
“We’re worth investing in”

Gratitude:

Softens your nervous system
Lowers stress chemistry
Opens the door for repair
Allows your body to finally feel safe enough to let go — of tension, of inflammation, of extra weight, of old patterns

This isn’t fluffy “positive thinking.”
It’s how science meets soul. Your emotional state influences your chemistry, which changes your biology.

The All-or-Nothing Trap (and Why It Keeps You Stuck)

I see this all the time with my overachievers and perfectionists:

“If I can’t do it all just right, I’m not doing it at all.”

You might recognize some of these:

“If I can’t eat 100% organic, what’s the point?”
“If I messed up my no-sugar challenge on day 3, I might as well throw the whole thing away.”
“If I didn’t hit my 100 grams of protein, I failed today.”

That’s guilt running the show.

Gratitude looks different:

“I’m proud I chose the organic apple today.”
“I made it three days without sugar — that’s three more than before.”
“I didn’t hit 100 grams of protein, but I got more in than I usually do.”

Gratitude doesn’t lie and pretend everything’s perfect.
It simply says: “I acknowledge what is working — and I build from there.”

Your Body Is Not the Enemy — It’s the Messenger

If guilt could have healed you, it would have worked by now.

Read that again.

Your body is not your enemy. Food is not your enemy. Your symptoms are not punishment — they are messages.

That stomach ache? Message.
That brain fog? Message.
Those stubborn extra pounds? Message.
That chronic pain or fatigue? Message.

Gratitude is what allows you to actually hear the message instead of attacking yourself for having one.

When you move from,

“What’s wrong with me?”

“What is my body trying to tell me?”

…you step out of shame and into wisdom.

Practical Ways to Shift from Guilt to Gratitude (Starting Tonight)

Let’s get really practical. Here are some simple tools you can use today.

1. The Nighttime Swap (60 Seconds)

Most women do a guilt inventory when they lay down at night:

“I didn’t get the laundry done.”
“I forgot to sign the paper for the kids.”
“I didn’t eat how I planned.”
“I didn’t move my body.”

Tonight, swap that out.

Before you fall asleep, ask yourself:

One thing I’m grateful for about my body today:
“Thank you, body, for carrying me through another day.”
“Thank you, legs, for walking me where I needed to go.”
One thing I did well today (even if it’s tiny):
“I drank water before my coffee.”
“I showed kindness to a stranger.”
“I made one better food choice.”
One thing I’m hopeful for about tomorrow:
“Tomorrow I will give my body one more micro-win.”

Sixty seconds.
Done consistently? Life-changing.

2. Upgrade Your Language

Catch yourself when you say:

“I’m broken.”
“I’m a mess.”
“I always fail.”
“I have no discipline.”

Swap to:

“I’m learning.”
“I’m rebuilding trust with my body.”
“I’m improving one small step at a time.”
“I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m not where I used to be.”

Your words are not neutral.
They are spells you cast over your own nervous system.

3. Focus on Micro-Wins, Not Massive Overhauls

Your nervous system does not need you to fix your last 20 years of habits by Monday.

It needs one supportive step today.

Examples:

Salt on your tongue + 8 oz of water before coffee
5 minutes of walking outside
3 deep breaths every time you get in the car
Screen-free wind-down with an actual book instead of scrolling
One upgraded food choice (not a whole new diet)

Pick one daily non-negotiable and stick with it.
Next week, add a second. Let the momentum build.

Guilt collapses your wins.
Gratitude multiplies them.

Why Healing in Community Is So Powerful

Inside my group programs, we don’t just talk about food and supplements.

We work on:

Mindset
Nervous system regulation
Gratitude practices
Micro-habits
Emotional safety

We also heal together.

When you step into a community where:

You are not judged for where you’re starting
You are encouraged for every micro-win
You are reminded that you are not broken, just overloaded

…your nervous system feels something it maybe hasn’t felt in a long time:

Safe. Seen. Supported.

That’s when the body finally says,
“Okay. We can start to repair.”

Want to Go Deeper? Watch the Full Conversation

This blog is just a slice of what we unpacked in the full episode.

🎥 Replay the full “Gratitude vs Guilt” teaching on Awaken Wellness TV:
👉 Click here to watch the replay.

If this message hits home, share it with:

The overachiever who beats herself up constantly
The friend who “does everything right” and still feels stuck
The mom who carries silent guilt for everyone and everything

You don’t guilt your way into healing.
You love, honor, and partner your way into it.

Next Steps with Awaken Wellness

If you’re ready to move out of guilt and into true, rooted, sustainable healing:

🧡 Join my next Group Coaching Cohort

We start again in January.
Weekly Sunday calls, education modules, a 5-minute gratitude journal, and a community that gets it.
Visit awakenedwellnessllc.com and click Virtual to explore options.

🎟️ Get Your Ticket to the MonDak Wellness Summit

Join us January 5–9, 2026 for a powerful week of live, virtual sessions with 18 presenters plus an in-person VIP event in Sidney, Montana.
Tickets + details:
👉 https://awakenedwellnessllc.com/page/mondak-wellness-summit-2026-tickets

💡 Stay Connected

YouTube: Awaken Wellness TV
Facebook & Instagram: Awakened Wellness LLC
Email List: Join via my website for updates, offers, and replays.

From my heart to yours:
Happy Holidays. End 2025 with intention to Heal in 2026.
May this season mark the moment you trade guilt for gratitude, punishment for partnership, and survival mode for true healing.

When your in a low place with your health you just need someone to believe in you. I Believe in YOU - Nurse Tanya